Just Me … Not Particularly Original or Unique

I’ve been trying to figure out why I have had a negative reaction to the negative reactions to Richard’s Cybersmile communications (say that ten times, fast).

I value free speech. I value divergent ideas. I value criticism. I value debate. I value discussion. I value tolerance. I value constructive criticism.

So why do I cringe and feel conflicting emotions bubble up when a new Richard bashing post crosses my dash? Why don’t I experience growth or freely embrace new ideas in the honest assessments that are negative? Why have I started doing more DL:DR than ever before?

I think it’s because we all interpret RA’s communiques through our own paradigm. Mine feels somewhat ‘in synch’ with his on most of his points and therefore if someone calls him names it feels like they are directed at me and anyone whose paradigm is similar to mine (his). I’m taking the negative reactions to RA personally not because I’m in APM or feeling second hand indignation but because they attack me and my world view personally (even though not specifically addressed to me).

This is not revolutionary or particularly insightful – taking things personally is a garden variety catalyst for feeling offended and initiating conflict both online and in real life.

Damn. I thought I was above all that. I thought I had decent metacognition. Nope. Turns out I’m bloody human after all – and much closer to neanderthal than an evolved social creature.

So why do I nod when I read his communiques instead of furrow my brow? Why does my brow furrow and the acid rise in my belly when I read persistent negative comments?

Because I’m so thoroughly egocentric it’s appalling. I assume that everyone knows and remembers the same things I do. That everyone processes things the same way I do. It’s never constructive to say “Well, I’m pretty average and I get this, so everyone else should too.” I’ve done that.  A lot of that.

I remember the many quotes and interviews over the years where he’s talked about putting others first; his manners and thoughtfulness when he’s with fellow cast members; his commitment to reflect the style of the interviewer; how he praises his colleagues never taking credit on his own. I have not read anything via Cybersmile that contradicts 10+ years of statements or behaviour. His putting others first is one of the reasons I initially found him compelling and attractive. His Cybersmile communications simply reinforce those things for me.

I know that he is not a sociologist, psychologist, counsellor or bullying expert. I know he’s an average person that cares and in his admittedly fallible way, tries to make a small difference and to do it authentically – every statement he makes is consistent with who he is and how he’s conducted himself. If his personal disclosures weren’t enough, everything else confirms that he is speaking honestly and from the heart. For me, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be sincere.

I know that he writes in a sort of stream of consciousness way. He’s described it many times with regards to his characters’ backgrounds. His essay felt like that – it felt like reading his thought process – sincere, imperfect, personal, mostly uncensored. It wasn’t buffed and polished. I was moved by the style of his writing as well as the content because it felt tremendously intimate. For me, it was simply Richard speaking in a way which confirmed everything I’ve ever thought about his integrity and character.

I agree with most of what he said. There were bits that I found a little confusing but that is the nature of communication when it’s coming from the heart – sometimes there are foggy sections and you have to decide if you’re going to interpret it in isolation or trust that the future will hold some sort of clarification.

I could go through line by line, paragraph by paragraph and show what I agree with, what I don’t, and what’s confusing. But it’s sort of irrelevant – my paradigm isn’t original or unique or able to add anything new to the discussion. And in reality, there isn’t a forum for debate – only a medium for sharing opinions.

My paradigm has interpreted his texts and posts as consistent with who he is, as valid and meaningful as any other layperson, and without malice or false piety in his attempts to make his little corner of the interwebs a friendlier place. Ultimately, reading his communiques through my paradigm has meant that I admire him all the more for what he’s doing and trying to do.

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RA Today ~ April 12

My heart was heavy when I heard that Richard didn’t win the Olivier Award for Best Actor.  Two things that take the sting out – the world knows that he IS Olivier calibre and he is such a class act – his tweet to Mark Strong is tops!

Then there is something which definitely qualifies for a personal official squee:  2000? *does the dance of confused joy*

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RA Today ~ April 9

I was talking to a moderator of a submissions based blog which was becoming a battleground, ripped apart by two schools of fandom opinion.  I suggested that she create a side blog so that there was a happy place for each of the ‘teams’.   I thought it was a win-win situation – everyone got to have their submissions published without worry of someone taking umbrage with them.  Unfortunately, the mod has been under attack since then … and it appears to be because she publicly thanked me for the idea.

You see,  my stalker is back, harassing people who DARE to communicate with or reblog from me.  They’re following the usual tactic, spouting lies and making sure they shout so loud that nothing else can be heard over their din.  Part of me wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of their lies because everyone who follows me know they aren’t true.   However, they are going after my followers or anyone who dares admit they know me and that’s not okay – it’s not something I laugh off.  But, ANY attention to such trolls only gives them the sustenance they crave, so I won’t give them the pleasure of a very pithy response.   Well … on Tumblr where they’re looking for it.

Why is it that a few bad apples try to spoil the whole barrel of fun?

On a much cheerier note, some fans discovered the Hannibal film crew outdoors in Hamilton, Ontario and spent some time outside the set.  Afterwards, Rutina Wesley (Richard’s co-star) went outside to meet the fans and take a photo with them.  They were able to see Richard and Rutina acting for a bit of the time too! (X)   (X)

I need to open the window and take in some fresh air – and I think this pic is just the window I need:

GUY

  1. Season 3 Guy by the fire cap by psicomana
  2. Season 3 b&w screen caps by bloodbuzz-smartypants
  3. Season 3 edit by serik27
  4. Standing, looking up at Vasiey cap by missnu93
  5. At his wedding, before the priest by missnu93
  6. S02E01 gifs by imreadinggirl   Part II   Part III   Part IV   Part V   Part VI    Part VII   Part VIII    Part IX   Part X  Part XI  Part XII  Part XIII   Part IVXX   Part VXX

PORTER

  1. Promo shot with helicopter in background by groovyger

THORIN

  1. Thorin & Dwalin having a snack at Beorn’s gifs by thorinds
  2. Multi edit by thilbo
  3. Promo shot with axe and sword by richardarmitakeme
  4. Thorin & map overlay by choreolanus
  5. Pencil drawing by bethannng

THORNTON

  1. Gifs by fringeofmadness
  2. Thornton & Higgins gifs by circusgifs
  3. Final train scene gifs by imreadinggirl
  4. Pen & ink drawing of JT by aliciavogel

ASSORTED & MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

  1. A little Sleepwalker reminder by armitages-sleepwalker
  2. Percy Courtenay smoking gifs by theheirsofdurin
  3. Epiphanes by clematis70
  4. Harry Kennedy: a little kiss at the door gif by thelurkingdead
  5. Strike Back:  Project Dawn (French) lol by spooksgirlclaws
  6. Alec Track: a smile by spooksgirlclaws

PHOTOSHOOTS

  1. Blair Getz Mezibov video
  2. Sarah Dunn 2014 posted by richardslittle-infinity
  3. Richard Bush by jonathan-rhys-meyers-love 
  4. Richard Bush by silkeluv
  5. Blair Getz Mezibov gifs by francisdollarhydes
  6. Perou closeup by aniarafan2
  7. Matt Holyoak: standing by window by mariliaafelix
  8. Anders Overgaard by mzperx0506universe

MISC. PICS, GIFS, ART, ETC.

  1. Dwarf boot camp Jed & Richard wrassling by thorin-baconshield
  2. Martin & Richard listening to each other talk gifs by heelsheamus
  3. Worst day on Dos by chase-taurohtar
  4. Favourite tv shows – 2010
  5. Leaving an interview in 2012 by anacondavisearchive
  6. The Stage’s predictions on the Oliviers by myrichardtreeshouse
  7. crossing his arms by jahoe1960
  8. misc interview and red carpet gifs by durinbuttsex
  9. misc character and RA gifs by mirkwoodcaptauriel
  10. doesn’t look much diff than his character by likeadancingdream
  11. Empire awards 2014 by jassy2101
  12. Summary of Richard’s Crucible reviews by lgprca
  13. ComicCon Brasil selfie by mrpuddingston
  14. DOS promos cap by jassy2101

SUNDRIES

RA Today ~ April 7

So the weirdest, freakiest thing happened today.  I am writing a fan fic about Richard taking on the role of a turn of the twentieth century iconic Canadian painter.  The artist was part of a group responsible for influencing art in Canada and died under very mysterious circumstances.  His is a great story and something I could see Richard doing a fantastic job with (he’s already portrayed a painter, but this one’s a very different kettle of fish).  So cut to this afternoon.  I was looking for the source of a nice edit of a Richard photo and used the ever-handy ‘search Google for this image’.  This is what turned up:

I put the red type in there but adlkjasd;lfkjads;flkj   The first ‘visually similar image’ after Richard’s was TOM THOMSON the Canadian artist who is the role Richard is playing in my story!!!!   Seriously!   Isn’t that weird???  It’s completely twisting my brain into pretzels!

Last year I wrote a story about him filming in Toronto and here he is.  This year I’m writing a story about him playing Tom Thomson and Google images has matched them up.  I’m thinking it’s time to write a drabble about meeting him and becoming lifelong buddies … or something to that effect 😀

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