It’s been a while

Things got a bit hectic IRL so I had to take a bit of a sabbatical from the RA Todays. Things are settling down and so it seemed like a good time to resume this fun little adventure.

Until today. Today makes me question what I’m doing here, in public, at all.

 

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There is enough tension and unpleasantness in the RA fandom that I have no desire to contribute to it.  I have a ‘Just Richard’ Tumblr blog which I keep as neutral as is possible.  Last year (about this time) I was attacked for who I follow and my views on Richlee.  Back then,  I stated that I wasn’t a Richleer and wasn’t interested in defending anyone else’s blog or my choice in follows.   Other than Staged-gate of last summer, I have kept my Jollytr Tumblr blog all about the pretty pictures and gifs.  It aint called Just Richard Armitage for nuthin’.

The only indication of where I might fall on the Richlee spectrum is that I write het fan fiction.  Despite an otherwise completely neutral blog, I have been intimidated and criticized for re-blogging pictures of His Peaches, for who I re-blog from, my supposed homophobia and general lack of worth as a human being.

It just isn’t fun anymore.  Often I struggle to motivate myself to do new edits or even keep the queue loaded up because I now look at my dash through wincing eyes and a clenching stomach – unsure when or where the latest toxic bomb will explode.  I’m not alone.   People who I thought were fandom staples rarely blog now, if they’re still on Tumblr at all.  They have been chased away by the toxic extremists (who, for the record, do not represent the Richlee fandom at all).

I have met so many wonderful people in the RA well wisher world – people I hope to know for the rest of my life.  Women (and one man) whom I have come to adore.  Life is richer, warmer and more colourful because of them.  I will never regret the path which brought me to their doors.

I have no love for the current state of affairs – fascist fan police who attack and beat anyone who does not toe their party line.  I have seen them eat their own young – so what hope is there for anyone who doubts or disagrees with them?

Today feels like a final straw.  A follower of mine has been attacked because of who I re-blog from. There is just so much wrong with this that I can’t english.  It’s not enough that I am judged for who I re-blog from, Pieholic has two degrees of separation and is still being intimidated.   The accusation contains lies  – and any attempt to disprove it will result only in making me look like a defensive idiot of the “methinks the lady doth protest too much” variety.  This method has become standard: spout lies and then attack anyone who provides the truth, calling them pathetic, obsessive, and obviously possessing a guilty conscience.

I don’t need this crap.  I don’t want this crap.  Who does?  Why bother?  Life is too short for hobbies which become toxic.  I have MUCH bigger concerns to deal with (mentally ill children).  This was supposed to be pleasure, diversion, escape, inspiration, distraction … and much of it has been.  But the bullying by the likes of the Anon in the above note … where is the pleasure?

Other than the fact that I am the single most stubborn person on the planet and don’t want to let the fuckers win, I’d be out of here – delete the Tumblr blog and never look at that site again.  I understand the RACentral forum is still a safe place – free of bullying and vitriol of any kind.   There is still one neutral place left in the RA Universe … why not just emigrate?

The largest part of me desperately wants to … but if I do … I surrender and let the extremists win.  I am loathe to give them what they want.  Their methods have already claimed so many Tumblr bloggers.  Should I dig in and continue the posting and re-blogging of happy things or should I take my ulcer and go home?

I hate what is happening.  I hate that I can’t say this on my Tumblr blog – which is where it belongs.  I hate that I am crying right now.  I hate that something wonderful has become something horrible.  I hate that I am hating.

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19 thoughts on “It’s been a while

  1. Servetus says:

    Ouch. This is par for the course for people who allow anon asks. That doesn’t make it okay — but it always means that it’s very likely that the anon asker is saying whatever they say precisely in order to get a reaction. There’s also a pattern of troll activity around Armitage’s big days, a pattern I’ve observed since 2012, and yesterday was arguably a big day.

    That said, I don’t spend much time on tumblr anymore because I generally agree with your assessment of the situation. What used to be fun, wacky, and at times a little edge is mostly gone.

    I’ve had my days of wondering why I stick around, too (had a lot of them last February) and so I’m sending you guys. Stick around.

    • jollytr says:

      Thanks Servetus, you’ve been in the extremists’ cross hairs for far too long. I don’t understand this mentality! She/they go out of their way to find something or someone to attack. It’s insanity.

      Sadly, you are once again proven right that with every big event in RA World, she/they will invent something if there isn’t anything to create drama about.

      What drives a person to cause such strife? Why be hellbent on destroying the achievements of the guy they say they admire? I don’t get it.

      I do greatly appreciate your encouragement!

      • Servetus says:

        No worries, because they’re not destroying Armitage’s achievements. They can’t. But provoking us about it by lying — that’s how this works — they say something that’s a lie (you will not believe the things I’ve read about myself and stuff that I have suppsedly written) and then you feel obligated to defend yourself, so you keep talking. (i.e., Guylty’s right — silence is the only way to deal with this effectively).

      • jollytr says:

        I have a whole folder of Don’t Feed the Trolls pics … I just keep going through the folder. Fortunately, none of them know about this secret place 😀 I got to vent today and not fuel the Tumblr fire. We had a nice evening and I’m much more optimistic, resilient and stubborn. I may change a few things about the way I do things on Tumblr – but I won’t be chased away and I won’t stop posting my fic or fic recs.

        Thank you for sharing your experience and encouragement!

  2. jholland says:

    I’m sorry. That’s awful. It is supposed to be fun. Why isn’t it enough for people to not follow who they don’t want to follow? Why do they feel they have to involve others and continually stir the pot? I don’t blame you for considering throwing in the towel, though of course I hope you don’t. *Hugs*

    • jollytr says:

      Thank you for your support and encouragement. It is beyond the pale to me. I guess I’ve arrived at this ripe old age rather naive. I purchased The Crucible yesterday and am going to view it today … the reason for the season, sts! I think it will be a good antidote to the troubles of the day.

  3. Oh, sweetie please don’t let the asses get to you. I would miss you terribly. I think they get their kicks from upsetting people and they don’t have any real/new ammunition right now. So they are manufacturing trouble. Please, please don’t let them chase you away. I’m available to talk anytime! Just look at pictures of our happy, naughty, geeky man ALL DAY! Tree (K)

    BTW it sounds to me like Pieholic put them in their place. She didn’t seem intimidated to me and I’m certain she doesn’t blame you.

    • jollytr says:

      I’ve had two wonderful messages from Pieholic. I was devastated that they attacked her but she’s a strong person and can stand up for herself.

      There is a certain amount of karma in this – I posted a very nasty thing about h*****t (a rabid tinnie) by mistake and took it down as soon as I discovered it was on my blog (up for about a minute). I apologized profusely and had expected some sort of backlash then but it never came. This was her, of that I have no doubt. It’s interesting that she’s said I’m very vocal against shippers because I haven’t made a single comment (that I can remember) in about a year – and even then it was in response to that person bullying me. Fortunately, anyone who follows me, knows her claim is untrue.

      I’m not going to make any decisions today or tomorrow. It’s too raw and my emotions too intense. The option I’m leaning towards is restarting RA today but discontinuing jollytr.tumblr.com. But none of that needs to be finalized this week.

      THANK YOU for your encouragement! I appreciate the risk you took in saying this publicly.

  4. Guylty says:

    This is just the sort of stuff I did *not* miss while I was away. I am sorry you have been subjected – in a “once removed” sort of way – to this. But there is only one way forward: Ignore mode. There in no ONE approved way of fangirling over RA. You do it your way and that is it. Switch off anon asks and just take a mini-break from tumblr. A day, a week, whatever it takes. And then resume *your* path. I’d hate for your path to end in a cul-de-sac, artificially created by the obstacles thrown up by others.

    • jollytr says:

      Thanks Guylty! I had a scathing retort to Pieholic’s anon but scrapped it.There is nothing I could possibly say to positively impact the anon – I can only draw attention to their rantings which, I would guess, is exactly what they want. So,I’ll have a day of feeling sorry for myself over here and then move on with life. There is far more beauty in the world, and with RA Well Wishers than a couple of trolls. The light of so many, many wonderful people cannot be dimmed by the putrid darkness of a few!!!!

  5. KellyDS says:

    I agree that it’s been getting way out of hand and causing the fun to be sucked right out of it. why is it so hard for some people to just let others be? you do your thing and I’ll do mine and sometimes we’ll meet in the middle- as friends. it *is* possible. but the need to be “right” seems to consume so many these days 😦

    • jollytr says:

      Thanks Kelly! I really appreciate your note. It’s not the first time someone has been bullied and sadly won’t be the last. Once the shock has worn off I won’t take it so personally … it’s about them – not me. I will find a place and a way to enjoy Mr. A. I will not give them the power to ruin everything. But today I may lick my wounds a little.

  6. zeesmuse says:

    Aw hon. Hugs. And more hugs. You just sit down and let Auntie Zee make you some cheesecake with blueberries.

    Don’t let the tinnies get you down. Sometimes a hiatus works. I’m thinking mine is going to last until the weekend. I’m hoping TC brohaha will be over by then and I can venture back. And then I promise to put on my Super Hero costume and stand brazenly out in front of the crowd and laugh. HAHAHA!

    You’d probably prefer that I go write some more Roland or Gary. Or Guy. Wait. Roland is Guy. So is William Edward… he’s going to get down and dirty… oh yeah…

    So just keep doing what you do and ignore them. The IckLee fandom is quiet right now and you know hoTit… she has to generate a fire… create her own drama…

  7. jollytr says:

    Thanks Zee – I am so sorry that pathetic trolls are using me and my followers to attack you, Servetus and thorin-baconshield. It is cowardly to say the least. I have never been treated with anything but respect by any of you and that’s all I have to say about that. I won’t defend my choices of follows. I will take that cheesecake though – sounds delicious! Did you know that Nova Scotia is the blueberry capital of either Canada or the world … I’ll go with world, muahahahahaha. I would LOVE some Gary. I’m off to the movies with #1 son – a date with my boy! THANK YOU for your support and encouragement!

  8. jcjm1619 says:

    I love that I got to meet you through our admiration and respect for our beloved RA. You have listened to me despair going through what you write about now. It seems a double edged sword I’m afraid. I’ve been able to keep abreast of many goings on through your pages and would be sad to see you go, but believe me, I know how distressing social media can be. Free ends forever right???? ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

  9. KatharineD says:

    Hi Jolly,
    Only just caught up with this- so sorry to hear your happy place has been brought low by an anonymous hater. Your blog is always so upbeat and full of lovely images and RA info- I’d hate to see that come to an end.
    Please, ignore the negativity from the very few, and I hope you can return to finding enjoyment in the RA World.

    • jollytr says:

      Thank you Katharine. A good sleep, a date with my son, sending the boys for a guys outing to Niagara Falls, and a little bit of chocolate did wonders. I’m going to back off a little bit and am trying to figure out an easy way to restart RA Today … but all in all, no one but me will notice a difference 😀 Thank you for your kind words, and for your encouragement! It really means a lot to me ! xo

  10. Hariclea says:

    oh bugger, just caught up now, really missed you 🙂 Sheesh always some drama, some people have no other favourite activity than to pick on others? Honestly don’t get it… block anonymous stuff if you can technically and do your best to ignore as it is not worth your pain and sadness! Biiig hug!!! i love having you around and love all the stuff you collect 🙂 It brings me a lot of joy and i am sure not the only one 🙂 And i am sure there is a lot of fun stuff out there of the touching, hilariously funny, pensive, drool-worthy, creative etc kind for it to be worth to stick around 🙂 Do what makes you happy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! xxxx

    • jollytr says:

      Those sorts of events are like a hangnail. At its worst, it hurts like crazy and you want to amputate your finger to get rid of it. But it’s just a hangnail and more of an annoyance than anything. 🙂

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